Written by Arianne K. from the Adults with Allergies blog
We all expect as adults that the days of being bullied or pushed around by someone were over, right? We’ve left the playground behind, we no longer worry about being invited to the popular kid’s birthday party and we can simply walk away and never see that person again. We’ve spent years cultivating a group of friends from all walks of life that lift us up when we’re down, support us in our endeavours, and have even helped us move a couch or two.
But bullying may still occur as adults, especially as new Internet platforms arise, and new forms of communication are born. We have to face it, people may use these platforms for bullying. For us as adults, instead of taking place in the schoolyard or lunchroom, bullying takes place in the seedy underbelly of the Internet and comment sections on social media, written and expressed by people we’ve never met before but have plenty of opinions on our lifestyles. It’s simple to say ignore it, stay away, and don’t engage with “trolls,” but this is easier said than done; especially when these types of situations creep up into our feeds and news stories grabbing our attention and prying at our curiosity to know how the general public thinks about food allergies.
Whether it’s stories about passengers being taken off flights for a food allergy, patrons having their allergies dismissed by restaurants, or parents being villainized in schools, bullying can still happen. Vile comments and cruel statements made from behind a keyboard in the shadows of anonymity are bound to pop up, be shared, and commented on. It’s a seemingly endless cycle. It’s an odd feeling, being attacked or bullied at our age especially within the confines of our own home and from someone behind a computer screen far away. How can you fight against a bully you’ve never met; how can you speak up for yourself when the comments are shared online repeatedly by thousands of people? This kind of bullying is magnified when anyone, anywhere can partake in these conversations with no evident real-world repercussions.
There are important things to remember in any bullying situation:
Talk to someone: The Internet is a big place, and even though there are people who disagree with you, there are even more people who agree (especially when it comes to food allergies). Find a community who understands what you’re going through whether it be social media groups, webpages, or likeminded comments. Talk to these people about how these situations make you feel. You’d be surprised how a simple kind gesture or comment can change your perspective.
It’s not your fault: We’re all brought up differently, have different perspectives, life experiences and outlooks; no two people are exactly alike. Just because someone doesn’t understand cross-contamination doesn’t mean they’re evil, it just means they don’t live with it or have any frame of reference. Enlightening someone who isn’t aware can be a great thing to do. Being bullied is never your fault and it certainly isn’t right to hone in on a single feature you possess, like an allergy, and no one deserves to feel bad about a medical condition.
Don’t engage. But if you do, respond intelligently, not rapidly: If you feel up to responding to a negative comment, don’t stoop to their level. Never insult, you’re just adding gas to a fire. Take a breath, do some research, and respond maturely with facts and always keep a level head. Try providing positive remarks and creating a dialogue where you can explore the topic together and find common ground, otherwise we’re no better.
And if all else fails…
Stop and drop: If the comments and bullying are truly insulting or degrading and become harmful: Stop, save the evidence, then remove yourself from the situation, block the person or if it is really out-of-line, report them.
Bullying is never right, or a good idea and it isn’t funny or fair. You should never be made to feel bad about your food allergies or anything else for that matter. The Internet is a big place, you’re bound to encounter people or groups who will disagree with you, but you can always find people who will support you, have healthy discussions with, and give you a different perspective. Social media and mass communication has brought us closer together and allowed us to share across the planet; let’s not let it tear us apart.